When GOD sends you penguins

So this morning I woke up and felt pretty beaten and defeated. I was so aware of my humanness and the whole "your righteousness is like a filthy rag" thing was obvious. I had screwed up again and the contamination was trying to take hold of me.

Then the most amazing gift came in a text I had gotten the morning before. It was from the people whose house I am watching while they are overseas. The text wished me a happy Thanksgiving, and told me where some Christmas decorations were. That gave me a smile cuz it being my first Christmas in the States in my own home, I want to fully embrace the whole being able to have lights and glitz everywhere.

So this morning before heading out for Thanksgiving festivities, I looked in the closet where the decoration are stored, and what did I find??? 2 boxes full of nutcrackers!! Now that may seem like much to a normal person, but for me, I was giddy all morning. I love The Nutcracker. To me it is one of the most magical and enchanting stories ever. And it speaks so much to me of how GOD loves us and protects us, but that is another thought for another day.

The fact it is, had I gone in the closet yesterday and discovered the box, I would have been happy. But since it happened this morning, when I felt so beaten by the enemy, those little wooden statues had me floating. An hour before I had been telling GOD how inadequate I felt, and how I wondered why He put up with me and loved me. And while His conviction fell and He showed me an area I need to guard my heart and mouth more in, He then gave me such an amazing present. He gave me my penguins.

Now you may not know what I mean by that. Years ago I had to opportunity to hear Luci Swindoll speak and she shared about her adventure to Antarctica. She is a photographer and had asked GOD to send a whale her way so she could photograph it. And she just new she was gonna see one. Toward the end of her trip, she was on the boat and wondering why she hadn't seen a whale. She was so sad because she wanted to see this beautiful, epic creature of GOD. And (as I remember the story) about that time she noticed a couple penguins on a glacier. Then more and more. She said there were hundreds of them, playing and performing. It's as if they had been waiting for her to come and were posing for her. How fun and amazing that must have been!! What a sight to see!!

GOD told her she was so busy looking for the whale, that she almost missed the penguins.

Moral of the story, it is in the beautiful small details of life that GOD so often blows us away. Like me and the 2 boxes of nutcrackers. I felt GOD's love and delight in me (Psalm 45:11) so strong this morning. On a day that started out felling icky and defeated, GOD sent me some penguins in the form of nutcrackers, to set the stage for one of those rare perfect days. Which this Thanksgiving has been: One of those perfect days we wish we could freeze time for and live in.

Do you sometimes miss the penguins cuz you're waiting for the whale?

A Full Life?

This morning I was reading John 10:10 The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.

This is a verse most of us have heard many times, and personally it has become a vital part of my journey with GOD. It is so simple, and a small part of a whole concept. But in this verse we see that we are under attack. That we must battle for our hearts because the enemy is after us.

I don't mean we go around scared and fearful. But we must be aware our each of our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and learn to think as GOD wants us to by daily renewing our minds (Romans 12:2).

But the thing that stuck out to me this morning was the second part. . . "[JESUS's] purpose is to give life to its fullest"

We all have preconceived notions of what life to its fullest means. Especially in America, and especially in the American church. When we think of life to its fullest we think of success in the workplace, a family that actually wants to be together during the holidays, and GOD just making everything go smoothly. I know I buy into lie more often that I should, and am guessing I'm not the only one. Then this morning GOD reminded me that life to its fullest isn't going to look like I think it will.

Some aspects of it will. I am so blessed to have my family and be around the dinner table tomorrow celebrating our lives together and everything GOD has done. And I am doubly blessed because I will then celebrate with the family of my best friend of 20 years (who is more like a sister than a friend). In those areas life to its fullest looks like I think it should.

But then there are other areas where life to its fullest looks more like torture. We live in a fallen world, and GOD has allowed me to play a role and work on His behalf in some very important people who have a special place in my heart. And often life to its fullest is holding them as they cry over tragedy. Doesn't sound like it at first, but that is what JESUS does for us. And he has called us t be His hands in this world. So when I allow my hands to become His hands and reach out to show love and mercy then I am totally living life to its fullest.

There are so many other ways that at first sight don't seem like a full life, but when we look at the through the Light of Scripture, we see that even in the pain and tragedy of this world, we can live in the gift JESUS gave us of life to its fullest.

Putting Up Pretenses

Anyone who has known me for a while knows that I am not a fan of having my picture taken, and candids rarely turn out like I hope. Why? I think a lot of it has to do with the stupid things I do and the weird faces I make. And while they are fun in the moment I don't really enjoy looking at them later. So from time to time when people tag me in a photo on facebook, I am thankful that I can untag myself. Why?

Because I don't like the image that is portrayed of me.

Everyone does this in one way or another. For me the most obvious way is the fact I don't like most pictres of me, and I know that there are a lot of women out there who can relate to this. But there are so many other ways we put up pretenses. I remember back when I walked the fence between a life after GOD and a life after the world. Everytime I stepped in the church building I was puttng up a front of some kind. I would never let my guard completely down because I knew if someone looked too closely, they would see a hypocrite who has made a home in the world.

Some people put up pretenses in relationships. I know that this is a temptation for many when it comes to dating. In fact, most magazines advize this. Don't be yourself all at once, or they may not like you. We are told my Cosmo and GQ that we must portray a certain image to get them hooked on us, then slowly reveal the real us to them.

And while that is a sad state to live in, it's even more sad when we are that way with GOD.

This is what the Pharisees of JESUS day did. (Matthew 6 has several examples of this) Paul referred to them as white washed tombs (Acts 23). They looked pretty on the outside, but on the inside they reaked with the stinch of death.

But more often than not, our pretense or false appearance, is more subtle when we come before GOD. Instead of crying out to Him and letting Him know the pain we are in because our hearts are broken, we say a censored prayed that we think He would rather hear. But He already knows what's in our hearts, why do we try and hide it?

I'm not saying that we live a life of disrespect, it's quite the contrary that I'm suggesting. I think that GOD longs for a realness in His people. Look at Davd and Moses: David is described as a man after GOD's own heart (Acts 13), and Moses is referred to as His friend (Exudus 33). And these men were real before GOD; there was no pretense.

Look at what Moses pray when He was at His witts end with the Isrealites in Numbers 11:11-15. . . And Moses said to the LORD, "Why are you treating me, your servant, so miserably? What did I do to deserve the burden of a people like this? Are they my children? Am I their father? Is that why you have told me to carry them in my arms – like a nurse carries a baby – to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep complaining and saying, 'Give us meat!' I can't carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! I'd rather you killed me than treat me like this. Please spare me this misery!"

This is the man who GOD was speaking to when He said in Exudus 33:17 ". . . you are my friend."

And David wrote many Psalms crying out to GOD (Psalm 10 &13 just to name a couple).

But the beauty I see in these prayers is that they knew in their heartache that they could cry out to GOD. Then once their hearts were on the mend they would see how GOD was working and could rest in the arms of their Father. In the next chapter of Numbers, Moses is seen prayig for the wellfare of his brother and sister. Then he goes on to lead the people in the desert for 40 years.

He didn't leave it at the blowup. Instead Moses shared his heart with GOD and let GOD lead him through his pain. No pretense, just realness.

When GOD walls us in

Hosea 2:6-7 "But I will fence her in with thornbushes. I will block the road to make her lose her way. When she runs after her lovers, she won't be able to catch up with them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think, 'I might as well return to my husband because I was better off with him than I am now.'

Have you ever felt this was? This is a passage from one of my favorite books. In fact, in the girl's small group we are going through the book of Hosea, and it is amazing!! Each week GOD blows us away with how much He loves us by speaking through this book.

If you've never read it, I would challenge you to take a look at it. It is in the Old Testament right after Daniel.

This particular passage that is so beautiful to me. Now it may not seem like it at first, but when it is in the whole context of the book, you see the process that GOD is taking Gomer through. He is also taking us through it. So often we find our self n this cycle.We are close to GOD, but then slowly we let something get in the way. We hear Him calling to us and wooing us to come back to Him, but we don't answer. And the more we resist him, the harder it is to hear.

Until we find a place where our hearts are so surrounded by callouses that we no longer hear Him. Then comes the time when He blocks our paths. Where He leads us into the desert as verse 3 says of this same chapter. And this is such a loving attribute of GOD that we forget about. And when we are in the midst of it, it doesn't feel very loving. In fact, often we think that He is punishing us out of anger or disappointment. But He is getting us to a place where we will have to look up.

A practical way this may happen is with a friendship. This is an easy one we have all had to deal with. We meet someone, I'm not necessarily talking about someone of the opposite sex. But we meet this person, and we have a blast with them. But after a few days we realize that they may not be the best influence on us. In fact they struggle with the same things we do. And while at first we say that we will help each other stay strong, inevitably they become an enabler. Instead of talking about how good GOD is, being around this person helps us be comfortable in our pride, rebellion, apathy, gossip, lust. . . Whatever the case is, we find ourselves in a place where we can't hear GOD as well, or He feels so stinkin far from us we wonder if He is there or even loves us.

But then something happens. It s usually very tragic and full of drama. We wonder why GOD is allowing this to happen and scorn the very thing GOD is doing for us. Then after a while in the desert and surrounded by the thorn bushes, we hear Him wooing us and calling to us. And that is where the healing happens.

And it doesn't just happen in relationship. It could be your school, your job, how you're spending your money or your time. There are as many possibilities as there are people for the things that we are tempted to and do put in front of GOD.

So my question is, when was the last time GOD walled you in, did you realize what was happening? Are you walled in now and desperately fighting Him? Are you in the place where you are slowing hearing less and less of GOD? We all do this.

I heard something once: "true education takes away anxiety". That so applies here. The more we are educated in this, the easier we see it. When the time comes where we feel we are farther from our father than we would like, we can look at it and ask, "what's going on. DADDY, search my heart and show me what needs to change."

It is such a beautiful thing when GOD walls us in.

Am I gonna miss this?

Have you ever heard the song by trace Adkins "You' re Gonna Miss This"?. . .

She was staring out the window of their SUV complaining, saying "I can't wait to turn 18". She said "I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules". Momma put the car in park out there in front of the school. Then she kissed her head and said "I was just like you"

You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times. So take a good look around. You may not know it now. But you're gonna miss this

There are more verses, but you get the gist. I love this song and tear up every time I hear it. GOD spoke to me earlier in the year so powerfully through this song. So much of my life I have spent looking forward and wanting; as opposed to being content and living in the day.

When I was in college, I dreamed of graduation. When I was nannying before I went to Romania, my focus was the mission field. When I was overseas, my heart ached for home. And then when I got home, I started dreaming of where I will go next.

I hasn't been until the last year that I have really started to learn to be content. Not to say that I don't strive for progress, but until it happens, I am going to enjoy each day. I thank GOD for the place I'm in, which sounds simple, but I think too often so many of us are in such a hurry for the next thing.

The phrase "be an unanxious presence" comes to mind. We all know these people. Or rather, it is obvious and we notice when we are around the opposite. When we are surrounded by discontentment and anxiousness, we too tend to be anxious and discontent or unable to settle. But the fact is we are called to be unanxious and content (Philippians 4:6), which sounds so easy, but is a very hard discipline to learn.

Slowly GOD has been showing me through this song, the importance of realizing that every day is part of a stage of life that one day I will no longer be in, and I need to enjoy it and treasure it as such.

Do you realize that one day you will miss where you are right now? Does that change how you will love today?

Where are you standing

Today I heard an amazing teaching by Bernadette. I think many of you know her. She is an amazing woman and a good friend of mine. So the following wisdom is all because of her faithfulness to hear from GOD.

Think back to science class and the rotation of the planets. The earth is continually rotating around the sun and also on its axis, so throughout the days and different seasons we feel different degrees of its heat and light. But the sun never moves, is continually in the same place.

But from our view on earth it is easy to see why ancient astronomers thought the sun revolved around the earth. But the fact is the sun never moves. It is constant and steady.

This can also be said of our relationships with GOD and how intensely we feel the heat of His presence, passion and calling. When we are standing directly under Him, we can feel Him most intensely. We all have experienced this. Days when we are constantly aware of His being with us, days when we are in His Word, and surrounding ourselves with His praise. It is easy in those days to feel the direct heat of His power. But on the days when we are caught up in the business of life and forget He is always with us, wanting to speak to us, we are not in the direct path of His light. The heat is less intense and harder to recognize. Then come the times when we remove ourselves completely from His heat. This is not to say He isn’t involved or He can't find us, but just like Adam in the garden hid from GOD (Genesis 3:9), we too hide behind our fig leaves. Some of the leaves come in the form of busyness, apathy, rebellion, pride, and the list can go on and on. But whatever we are hiding behind, we are hiding nonetheless. And even though GOD is calling out to us like He did to Adam and Eve, we must make the decision to come out of hiding.

Even when we are hiding from the Son. We aren't hidden; He knows where we are. We just don't feel Him, His Passion, His love, and we certainly can't see the direction He is leading us in.

In addition to not feeling the intensity of the heat of the sun, when we are not standing directly under the it, our shadows seem bigger and more daunting that they are. Again, back to science class. What does a shadow look like when you are directly under the light source? It is an exact duplicate of you. The shadow of your feet and hands are the same as the original. But what happens when you move away from the light source? The shadow gets bigger and more distorted. You move too far from the light and the shadow resembles a disfigured monster rather than a human. Isn’t that also the case for our trials, and all the crap we face in this world?? When we are in the direct communion with the Son, we see the problems for what they are and we can better trust GOD.

Too often though we find ourselves moving away from the light instead of leaning into it. The shadow grows while we feel GOD less and less.

It is our choice to daily, hourly, sometimes minutely make sure we are directly under the light of the Son so our problems are seen as they really are and so we can know we are standing in the direct path of the light.

John 12:46 I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the darkness. (NLT)

Fighting for the heart. . .

A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to share a story at Crave about Robert the Bruce. Most of us recognize his name as the man who betrayed William Wallace in Braveheart. Robert the Bruce later led Scotland in it's freedom. While he was on his deathbed he asked for his heart to go with his men in battle. After he died, Robert the Bruce's heart was embalmed and one of his closest friends carried it around his neck in battle.

It sounds gross, but it speaks beautifully the dedication of his men. And as the story goes, the man who carried the heart around his neck was engaged in battle and knew he wasn't going to make it, he grabbed the heart from around his neck and threw in into mass of men engaged in combat and yelled to his men "fight for the heart of your king."

When I shared this story it was in reference to how GOD had opened my eyes to the fact I was becoming a passionless person who so easily fits into a mold. I had almost forgotten the battle that we are engaged in and how He has called us to a life of a barbaric passion for Him.

Then this morning I was reading Isaiah 45:2 I will go before you and level the mountains, I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut through the bars of iron. And I was reminded of how many of our hearts are walled in and guarded. I had actually read the day before a description of our hearts being prisoners of fear and past pain, locked away behind gates of bronze and bars of iron.

And all of a sudden the phrase "fight for the heart of your king entered my mind". Then "I heard "Fight for the heart of Your children" and I realized that is a battle cry of JESUS . Scripture over and over again tells how JESUS came so we may be free (Isaiah 61 is just one example). Then I thought of Revelation 19:11-16 Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there. And the one sitting on the horse was named Faithful and True. For he judges fairly and then goes to war. His eyes were bright like flames of fire, and on his head were many crowns. A name was written on him, and only he knew what it meant. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and his title was the Word of God. The armies of heaven, dressed in pure white linen, followed him on white horses. From his mouth came a sharp sword, and with it he struck down the nations. He ruled them with an iron rod, and he trod the winepress of the fierce wrath of almighty God. On his robe and thigh was written this title: King of kings and Lord of lords.

Wow, what a picture that paints of our GOD! Too often when we think of JESUS as someone who is wimpy, the pale, skinny figurine with him holding the lamb. And while He is gentle, He is only so because He chooses to be. We serve a GOD who loves us and endured the cross so we may be in relationship with Him and may grow to become everything He created us to be.

When all the crap of life is staring you down, daring you to make a move yet trying to hold you paralyzed. Or your lying your head on your pillow feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering if GOD hears you or fear you can't hear Him. . . Just remember He is a strong warrior (Revelation 19), He has called you His child (Romans 8:15), and He is working in your situation whether you see it or not (Romans 8:28).

He fights for the hearts of His children

Come ande Listen

I'm sure most everyone knows the David Crowder song "Come and Listen". I woke up this morning with it in my head, and it took me a few minutes till I woke up enough and settled with my coffee before it hit me that it was GOD calling out to me. And when I realized it I stopped in my hallway for such a sweet moment with my Creator. And over and over I just heard the melody "Come and Listen, come to the Water and draw near" in my heart.

And I was filled with love and awe that my GOD loves me so much. Not only is He always here when I need Him, but also He is calling for me to come and spend time with Him.

Too often it becomes a common place for us that He is available for us. But the amazing thing is, the more we spend time with Him, the more we will hear Him calling for us and telling us He loves us. AND then the more easily we can distinguish His voice and His Wisdom from everything else coming at us. When we recognize His voice, then we can identity when the enemy is lieing to us and trying to get us to believe lies about ourselves. And then we can more fully walk out this life as the people GOD created us to be.

John 10:27 My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6-K7WuY17Q

Concious Thoughts

For those of you who were in Crave last night, we talked about how important it is to be aware of our thoughts. To be aware of which thoughts are ours and which are from the enemy. We also talked about pacts we have made in the past with the enemy. Pacts that hold us back and keep us feeling insecure and inferior and a host of other feelings which keep us from stepping out into becoming the people we were created to be.

So what have you been thinking about today? Take a moment and think back on your internal conversation and identify which thoughts do not line up with the Word.

Philippians 4:8 ". . . Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. "

This morning I woke up and had the song, "Making Memories of Us" in my head. Have you ever listened to the lyrics of that song? I think it speaks so clearly of the love GOD has for us.

The first time I heard it I was in the car, having one of those times where I'm not sure what's going on and wondering if I'm missing GOD and just screwing it all up.

Then this came on the radio. . .

I'm gonna be here for you baby. And I'll be a man of my own word Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard. I wanna sleep with you forever. And I wanna die in your arms. In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm. And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you. . .

And maybe I identify with this more because I am a woman, and a more emotional one, but GOD opened my eyes to how much He loves me through that song.

Then again on Monday, I was in a time of doubting if I was on the right track, and desperately needing the arms of the one who loves me and I heard. . .

And I'm gonna make you a promise. If there's life after this. I'm gonna be there to meet you . . . And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you. And I'll earn your trust making memories of us.

And He does. He so earns my trust daily, and amazingly He is so patient with me with my distrust. He doesn't get frustrated at my asking Him to prove Himself to me over and over. Instead He daily earns my trust with each memory we make daily.

This really speaks to the truth that 1 Corinthians 13:4 says “Love is patient. . . “ And He is. He is so patient with us.

Sunday night I had the opportunity to share with everyone who was at Crave something that GOD revealed to me. I have become way too civilized and have come to fit in a mold. I have allowed GOD's call on my life of "Come" then "GO" to simply become "Come and Listen". It had started to become all about me and how I got fed or how I felt during worship or what I wanted. I was simply becoming a woman of selfish faith because when I take out the "Go" part of the mandate my eyes move from being about spreading GOD's glory to all about what He's doing in me.

While I never want to take for granted the work GOD is doing in me and how much He s growing and changing me everyday, I have to daily remind myself that He's not doing it for me. He is changing me from glory to glory so that I may be a vessel of his glory. So I can be JESUS with skin on.

When I keep that in mind my daily focus turns from looking only in the mirror and seeing what He's done for me, but then also opening my front door, back door, and my garage door to see who GOD is placing in my path that I can be JESUS to. He may even have placed someone in the back of my yard in the corner of the fence and I have to look to find them. I must remember that His feet are my feet. If I don't go, he won't go. And His hands are my hands, if I don't help He won't. Not because He can't. He is all powerful, but He has designed this world to include us in His story.

True if I don't go, He will raise up someone else. But do I really want that to be my story? That GOD placed someone outside my garage door for me to help and show His love to, but I didn't see them because I was too busy looking in the mirror and admiring the changes GOD has made in me.

How can I keep the "Go" part continually a priority without sacrificing the "Come" part of making sure I spend time sitting at His feet and learning to hear His heart beat so mine may beat with His?